What Causes Anger?

Anger is a strong emotion of displeasure caused by some type of grievance that is either real or perceived to be real by a person. The cognitive behavior theory attributes anger to several factors such as past experiences, behavior learned from others, genetic predispositions, and a lack of problem-solving ability. To put it more simply, anger is caused by a combination of two factors: an irrational perception of reality ("It has to be done my way") and a low frustration point ("It's my way or no way"). Anger is an internal reaction that is perceived to have a external cause. Angry people almost always blame their reactions on some person or some event, but rarely do they realize that the reason they are angry is because of their irrational perception of the world. Angry people have a certain perception and expectation of the world that they live in and when that reality does not meet their expectation of it, then they become angry.

It is important to understand that not all anger is unhealthy. Anger is one of our most primitive defense mechanisms that protects and motivates us from being dominated or manipulated by others. It gives us the added strength, courage, and motivation needed to combat injustice done against us or to others that we love. However, if anger is left uncontrolled and free to take over the mind and body at any time, then anger becomes destructive.

Why We Need to Control Anger

What Causes Anger?

Just like a person who is under the control of a street drug---a person under the influence of anger cannot rationalize, comprehend, or make good decisions because anger distorts logical reasoning into blind emotion. You become unable to think clearly and your emotions take control of your actions. Physiologically speaking, anger enacts the fight or flight response in our brain, which increases our blood pressure and releases adrenaline into our bloodstream, thereby increasing our strength and pain threshold. Anger makes us think of only two things: (1) Defend, or (2) Attack. Neither of these options facilitates a good negotiation.

Internal Sources of Anger

Our internal sources of anger come from our irrational perceptions of reality. Psychologists have identified four types of thinking that contribute to anger.

1. Emotional reasoning. People who reason emotionally misinterpret normal events and things that other people say as being directly threatening to their needs and goals. People who use emotional reasoning tend to become irritated at something innocent that other people tell them because they perceive it as an attack on themselves. Emotional reasoning can lead to dysfunctional anger in the long run.

2. Low frustration tolerance. All of us at some point have experienced a time where our tolerance for frustration was low. Often stress-related anxiety lowers our tolerance for frustration and we begin to perceive normal things as threats to our well-being or threats to our ego.

3. Unreasonable expectations. When people make demands, they see things as how they should be and not as they really are. This lowers their frustration tolerance because people who have unreasonable expectations expect others to act a certain way, or for uncontrollable events to behave in a predictable manner. When these things do not go their way, then anger, frustration, and eventually depression set in.

4. People-rating. People-rating is an anger-causing type of thinking where the person applies a derogatory label on someone else. By rating someone as a "bitch" or a "bastard," it dehumanizes them and makes it easier for them to become angry at the person.

External Sources Of Anger

There are a hundreds of internal and external events that can make us angry, but given the parameters of a negotiating situation, we can narrow these factors down to four general events.

1. The person makes personal attacks against us. The other side attacks you along with the problem in the form of verbal abuse.

2. The person attacks our ideas. The other side chops down our ideas, opinions, and options.

3. The person threatens our needs. The person threatens to take away a basic need of ours if they do not get their way i.e. "I'll make sure you'll never work in this city again."

4. We get frustrated. Our tolerance level for getting things done might be low or affected by any number of environmental factors in our lives.

Factors That Lower Our Frustration Tolerance

1. Stress / Anxiety. When our stress-level increases, our tolerance for frustration decreases. This is why there are so many domestic disputes and divorces over financial problems.

2. Pain. Physical and emotional pain lowers our frustration tolerance. This is because we are so focused on taking care of our survival needs, that we do not have time for anything or anyone else.

3. Drugs / Alcohol. Drugs and alcohol affect how our brain processes information and can make a person more irritable or bring forward repressed emotions or memories that can trigger anger.

4. Recent irritations. Recent irritations can also be called "having a bad day." It's the little irritations that add up during the course of the day that lower our tolerance for frustration. Recent irritations can be: stepping in a puddle, spilling coffee on your shirt, being late for work, being stuck in a traffic jam, having a flat tire.

Recognizing the Physiological Signs of Anger

By recognizing the physiological signs of anger, we can attune ourselves to know when it is time to take measures to make sure that our level of anger does not get out of control. Here are some symptoms of anger:

1. Unconscious tensing of muscles, especially in the face and neck.

2. Teeth grinding

3. Breathing rate increases dramatically

4. Face turns red and veins start to become visible due to an increase in blood pressure

5. Face turns pale

6. Sweating

7. Feeling hot or cold

8. Shaking in the hands

9. Goosebumps

10. Heart rate increases

11. Adrenaline is released into your system creating a surge of power.

Am I Right to be Angry?

Damn right you are. You have your own perception and expectation of the world that you live in and when the reality that you live in fails to meet your expectations, then yes you have the right to be angry. Afterall, if everyone thought alike, then the world would be a pretty dull place to live. You are going to run into situations that you don't enjoy. You are going to run into people who don't respect your views and ideas. The feeling of anger is totally justified according to your beliefs and so don't repress or deny those feelings.

Having to right to feel angry does not mean that you have the right to lash out in anger by attacking the other person. You can't change the views of other people to conform to your own because, like you, they have their own right to uphold their view of the world. The best thing you can do is recognize your anger and focus it on the problem instead of your counterpart.

Key Points

Being angry or frustrated is just like being under the influence of a drug. It prevents you from rationalizing and thinking logically.

Anger is caused by a combination of an irrational perception of reality and a low frustration point.

Anger is a natural response and you have every right to be angry, but you must learn to keep that anger in check during a negotiation because once you react in any negotiation, then you lose the agreement.

What Causes Anger?
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Tristan J. Loo is an experienced negotiator and an expert in conflict resolution. He uses his law enforcement experience to train others in the prinicples of defusing conflict and reaching agreements. Visit the Street Negotiation website at http://www.streetnegotiation.com or contact tristan at: tristan@streetnegotiation.com

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Writing an RFP (Request for Proposal)

A while back, a potential client provided me with some general details of the writing work he wanted me to do for his company. Then he asked me to send him a proposal.

Proposal?! I panicked as I tried to confirm with him what he meant by that since I had never done one before, at least not as a freelancer.

I must've not really wanted to pursue this opportunity since I didn't bother to do research or follow up with the company after submitting a contract instead of a proposal. A little time passed, I came across an article on writing RFPs (Request for Proposal). Ding! The light bulb went on. This guy verbally gave me his RFP and wanted a written response.

Writing an RFP (Request for Proposal)

When a company needs a project to be completed by a contractor or outside source, they write a RFP. This is a formal document describing the project, how the contract companies should respond, how the proposals will be reviewed, and contact information. Often, the company documents the submission guidelines to make it easier for them to compare responses. There are no specific standards or guidelines for creating the RFP, but government agencies usually strict standards they follow when conducting the proposal process.

Outside companies read the RFP and write a proposal (a bid) explaining how they can best provide and meet those needs. When writing the proposal, the company should closely follow the guidelines established in the RFP to avoid being removed from consideration for the potential project.

A typical proposal contains:

Executive summary - summary of the entire proposal Statement of need - why project is necessary Project description - How project will be implemented and evaluated Organization information Project schedule Budget Conclusion

My situation was an informal version of all this. The client gave me a high level overview of what I might do for him. If I knew then what I know now, I would've written up a description of the client's needs and how I would complete the work in meeting those needs.

Small businesses would likely do a proposal in between the one I got and the complex government required ones. Most small businesses will be prompted to write a proposal when approaching a client. The client may ask you to submit a proposal outlining what you can do for them. In this case, write a proposal including the elements of a typical proposal and keep it short and to the point especially if the client is not a large company.

There are examples of RFPs and responses peppered throughout the Web, but which one you can learn from depends on the type of work involved. A proposal can be two pages or as big as a book. Rely on your favorite search engine and do the research to create an unbeatable proposal.

Writing an RFP (Request for Proposal)
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Meryl K. Evans, Content Maven, is Editor-in-Chief of eNewsletter Journal and The Remediator Security Digest. She's a slave to a MarketingProfs weekly column and a Web design reference guide at InformIT. She is the author of the popular e-report, How to Start a Business Blog and Build Traffic. Visit her site at http://www.meryl.net/blog/ for free newsletters, articles, and tips.

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Styles Of Negotiation

Our style of negotiation will be influenced by the style of the other party. If both
sides are adversarial; there will be little trust between the two parties, however, if
one side decides to be co-operative, there is a danger the other side will use this
apparent sign of weakness to their advantage.

Co-operative bargaining has the advantage of being a more efficient style of
negotiation, however certain rules have to be followed by both parties for it to
work. Let us look at the two styles of bargaining and their features:

Features Of Adversarial Bargaining:

Styles Of Negotiation

o Each side takes up a position and defends it.

o Opening bids are set at unrealistic levels; too high or too low, in order to give

room for manoeuvre.

o Movement is small or non-existent until later on in the negotiation.

o Tactics are used to gain short term advantage.

o Too much emphasis is placed on trust. .This really is my best price!

o Information is withheld, or misrepresented.

o The outcome is often "win-lose", or "lose-lose".

o The more aggressive negotiator usually does best.

o This style does not encourage long term, mutually beneficial relationships.

o Neither side asks enough questions, or explores alternatives in sufficient depth.

Features Of Co-Operative Bargaining:

o Each side recognizes that the other has needs and feelings and accepts implicit rules.

o Objective measures are taken of what is fair and reasonable.

o Trust is not an issue as either side is willing to share information.

o This style is friendly, but not soft. There is a willingness to trade concessions.

o There is a clear, communicable strategy.

o Bad behavior is punished.

o This style involves creative problem solving.

o It encourages long term, mutually profitable relationships.

o Each side asks more questions and explores alternatives, rather than taking up fixed positions.

o The usual outcome is "win-win".

Copyright © 2007 Jonathan Farrington. All rights reserved

Styles Of Negotiation
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Jonathan Farrington is the Managing Partner of The jfa Group. To find out more about the author, subscribe to his newsletter for dedicated business professionals or to read his weekly blog, visit: http://www.jonathanfarrington.com

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Reasons for Globalization

Most companies move their business operations to foreign countries by going global. They take their business overseas for different reasons. These companies adopt the reactive or defensive approach to stay ahead of the competition. A few of them take the proactive or aggressive approach to accomplish the same purpose. A majority of them choose to adopt both approaches to avoid a decrease in their competition. In order to remain competitive, companies move as quickly as possible to secure a strong position in some of the key world or emerging markets with products customized for the need of the people in such areas in which they plan to establish. Most of these world markets are attracting companies with new capital investments with very good incentives. Some of the reactive or defensive reasons for going global are:

(1) Trade Barriers

(2) Customer Demands

Reasons for Globalization

(3) Globalization of Competitors

(4) Regulations and Restrictions

In the case of trade barriers, companies move from exporting their products to manufacturing them overseas in order to avoid the burden of tariffs, quotas, the policy of buy-local and other restrictions that make export too expensive to foreign markets. Companies respond to customer demands for effective operations and product assurance and reliability, or/and logistical problem solutions. Most foreign customers, who seek accessibility to suppliers may request that supply stay local in order to enhance the flow of production. Companies usually follow that request to avoid losing the business. For the globalization of competitors, companies are aware that if they leave companies overseas too long without challenge or competition, their investments or foreign operations in the world market may be so solid that competition will be difficult. Therefore, they try to act quickly. Most companies' home government may have regulations and restrictions that are so inconvenient and expensive, thus limiting the expansion, encroaching in the companies' profits, and making their costs uncontrollable. Hence the reason for the companies moving to different market environment with few foreign restrictive operations. The proactive or aggressive reasons for going global are:

(a) Growth opportunities

(b) Economies of Scale

(c) Incentives

(d) Resource assess and Cost Savings

Many companies will prefer to invest their excess profits in order to expand, but sometimes they are limited because of the maturity of the markets in their area. Therefore, they seek the overseas new markets to provide such growth opportunities. So, these companies, in addition to investing their excess profits, also try to maximize efficiency by employing their underutilized resources in human and capital assets such as management, machinery, and technology. Companies seek economies of scale in order to achieve a higher level of output spread over large fixed costs to lower the per-unit cost. They also, want to maximize the use of their manufacturing equipment and spread the high costs of research and development over the product life cycle. Some of the developing countries that need improvement and development through capital infusion, skills, and technology voluntarily provide incentives such as fixed assets, tax exemptions, subsidies, tax holidays, human capital, and low wages. These incentives seem attractive to these companies due to their increase in profits and reduction of risks. Caution: The repatriation of profits and foreign exchange risks due to instability in leadership of these developing countries should be put into consideration in negotiation. Access to raw materials and low operational costs in financing, transportation, low wages, lower unit costs, and power are attractive in terms of resource access and cost savings. Most companies move their headquarters to overseas to avoid their respective home countries' high taxes and other costs associated in business operation in those countries.

Companies need to develop strategies, design and operate systems, and also work with people, different companies, and countries around the world in the form of strategic alliance to ensure sustained competitive advantage. Global management and management functions are usually formed by the prevailing conditions and ongoing stable and unstable developments in the world. A few countries take advantage of these companies, but when companies become aware that they are being used, they should then learn how they can be useful in that different cultural environment in order to make a lot of profits.

Reasons for Globalization
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Dr. Sidney Okolo is a professor, consultant, strategist, and Africa expert. He is affiliated to several universities, the Managing Director of International Business Associates, a management consulting firm, and also the President of Virtual Classrooms Institute, an online education solution.

Among other things, he engages in all aspects of learning, knowledge, organization and human change. His focus is on leadership, management, entrepreneurship, profit engineering, human potential, excellence, achievement, business strategy, research and development. Product management, change management, conflict management, athlete management, marketing, business development and operations. He works with clients to adapt to change due to change in factors of production, technology, goods and services. He engages clients in training, retraining, development, skills enhancement, association, behavior modification, ways of thinking, and attitude adjustment. In addition to his work in the United States, his focus is also on developing countries in the continent of Africa, their leadership, culture, economic and market structure, community planning and development, and his coined the phrase; "AFRICAN PIES", which stands for: poverty, instability, ethnicity, and sectarianism in Africa.

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Salary Negotiation: Compensation Advice From A Recruiter

As a recruiter, I'm used to negotiating salary and compensation on behalf of my job candidates with the hiring manager of the company they are interviewing with.

Salary and compensation negotiation is one of the things a recruiter typically does when helping someone get a job so if you're not a good negotiator this can be one of the things they can help you with if you decide to use a recruiter.

Here are some tips that I've learned in my time as a recruiter that might help you next time you're negotiating salary for yourself with a potential new employer.

Salary Negotiation: Compensation Advice From A Recruiter

1. Let the employer bring up the issue of money first. Ideally, you should let the interviewer broach the issue of money (ie. "How much money are you looking for?") not you. Employers generally don't want money-motivated staff whose main concern is salary since people can easily switch jobs if they can get more money elsewhere.

Certainly, if you're working with a recruiter you can let them know what salary you're looking for since they need to know what range is acceptable to you and avoid wasting your time with jobs that don't match your requirements.

2. Don't state a desired salary range. The problem with saying "I'm looking for a salary of ,000-,000" is that while you might be thinking that you're showing flexibility by stating a wide range, you could actually be low balling the salary you end up getting offered.

While you might be thinking that you'd like the higher end of this salary range (ie. ,000) the hiring manager might be thinking you'd be happy with ,000 since you did state that ,000 was in your acceptable range! While the hiring manager hopefully wants to be fair, some might not offer you ,000 if you state that ,000 would be acceptable, which is basically what you're saying with this stated range.

Ideally you want to go into an interview knowing the salary range that the company is offering. A recruiter can definitely get this information for you. Knowing the salary range being offered ensures that you don't price yourself out of range and don't lowball yourself either.

3. Don't state a salary that you won't be happy accepting. If you tell a hiring manager you'd be happy with ,000 do not expect to be able to go back to them later in the interview process and then ask for ,000. It can be difficult to get a higher salary agreed to once you've verbally mentioned a lower one. As we spoke about in Point 1, let the employer bring up the issue of money first and try your best to understand the job fully before committing to a stated salary figure.

While you don't want to evade the question if you're asked "how much money are you looking for" during a job interview, you also don't want to ruin your chances at getting a better figure by making a mistake handling the salary question.

The longer you can delay the issue of money in an interview process the better.

A good recruiter should be able to help you with salary negotiation since that's part of their job and since as the middleman, they can negotiate on your behalf without the emotional aspect that can come along with this issue if you were doing it yourself.

Plus, they should have a solid understanding of exactly what parts of the job offer might be open to negotiation especially if this is a hiring manager or company that they've successfully dealt with before!

Salary Negotiation: Compensation Advice From A Recruiter
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The Negotiation Process

It is probably no coincidence that the Spanish word for "business" - in the sense of commerce - is negocios. It highlights the importance of the negotiating process when it comes to doing business in a way that results in trust and respect for your company. The negotiation process is not difficult, but requires a certain amount of skill and training.

Negotiations, whether between individuals, businesses or even nation-states are really nothing more than a process in which concerned parties come to an agreement that serves everyone's best interests. Instead of one dominating or imposing power over the other, the parties attempt to reach a consensus in which everyone is satisfied. Business negotiation skills are valuable tools in this process.

Business negotiations are used not only by management and sales representatives, but by virtually everyone involved in the day-to-day operation of the company. Negotiations are a better way to motivate others rather than using pressure and domination strategies that may work in the short term, but ultimately causes distrust and resentment - and ultimately, profits.

The Negotiation Process

Beginning the Negotiations

The negotiation process begins with an analysis of the needs, desires and interests of all parties concerned, as well as any outside issues - such as culture, background and experience - that can come into play. This information will form the basis of negotiations going forward.

The next step is planning: what are the goals of the business negotiations? What terms are to be settled? What is each side willing to give up in order to gain something else? These are all vital issues to be considered in the negotiating process.

Streamline the Negotiations Process

You and your company staff can learn more effective business negotiation skills through negotiating training from qualified providers. These professionals will design a negotiation course specifically tailored to the needs of your company that offer learners the opportunity for hands-on, "real-world" practice as well as valuable theory of business negotiations.

When considering negotiating training, it's important to begin by taking stock of where you and the company are currently. What are the long term goals, the short term objectives, what are your company's strengths and weaknesses? With whom will you be negotiating and over what? In what kind of setting will the negotiating process take place?

Few understand the nuances of the negotiating process that involve things as subtle as physical positions, seating locations and even the decor of the room. These are kinds of issues that can be covered in a negotiation course. There are few natural-born diplomats in the world; negotiations are an art, but also a science and a skill that must be practiced like any skill. Effective training means a smoother negotiating process for all involved.

The Negotiation Process
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A course in negotiation training by expert Jonathon Blocker helps to improve your business negotiation skills and provides insightful and expert knowledge of negotiations.

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Negotiation - Understanding Your Sources Of Power

One of the main differences between negotiators is how confident they feel when
negotiating. Typically, the more confident we feel, and the better we are prepared,
the more successful will be the outcome of our negotiations.

Personal power comes from many sources. To build up and increase our confidence
as negotiators we need to step back and analyse the sources of our personal power
and compare them with those of the people with whom we are negotiating.

Power is not absolute. In most negotiating relationships the power balance moves
with time as the negotiation progresses.

Negotiation - Understanding Your Sources Of Power

Here are just a few examples of sources of power:

Information Power:

Information power comes from having knowledge that will influence the outcome of
the negotiation. Planning and research can increase our information power, as can
asking the right questions before we reach the bargaining phase of the negotiation.

Reward Power:

Reward power comes from having the ability to reward the other party in the
negotiation. It could be the power a buyer has to place an order for goods and
services or the power a salesperson has to give good service and solve problems

Coercive Power:

Coercive power is the power to punish. This is seen most commonly in the buyer-
seller relationship, but can be a feature of other types of negotiation.

Situation Power:

Situation power is the power that comes from being in the right place at the right
time. A customer is desperate to place an order and you are the only source of
supply in the short term. Having an effective network and keeping in touch with
what is happening can increase your situation power.

Expertise Power:

Expertise power comes from having a particular skill which you can apply and which
can influence the outcome of the negotiation. Improving negotiation skills helps you
win better deals. Other areas of expertise could also help the outcome of the
negotiation.

And Finally - Referent Power:

Referent power comes from being consistent over time. If people see you as having a clear, consistent strategy as a negotiator, you will increase your referent power.
Having standards that you stick to and being consistent will help to increase your
referent power. In the eighties, Margaret Thatcher wasn't universally popular, but
was respected by many for being consistent in her views and behaviour. In the end
she failed because her approach was too rigid and she was unable to adapt to
changing circumstances.

Copyright © 2007 Jonathan Farrington. All rights reserved

Negotiation - Understanding Your Sources Of Power
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Jonathan Farrington is the Managing Partner of The jfa Group. To find out more about the author, subscribe to his newsletter for dedicated business professionals or to read his weekly blog, visit: http://www.jonathanfarrington.com

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Cultural Differences Between East and West in the Cross-Cultural Business Negotiations

Culture mainly includes four aspects which greatly influence the cross-cultural business negotiation, they are: language and non-language behaviors, customs, way of thinking and values.

First of all is the difference in language and non-language behaviors. Chinese people are particular about etiquette since the ancient times. Take Chinese and Americans for example, when hearing about others' praise, Chinese people usually use self-depreciatory expression to show their modest. Chinese people are sure to use appellations in conversations. Americans stress equality. The younger generation can call the elder or boss directly by his or her name. To others' praise, Americans will be grateful and accept it. There is also a big difference in non-language behaviors. For example, the behavior of gazing at someone, Chinese people use it to show curiosity or surprise while Americans think it is impolite.

Second is the difference in the customs. Customs mainly include some social activities. Chinese people care much of their face in daily life and work, they care much about their images in other people' eyes and are afraid of being laughed at, discussed and misunderstood. Americans are much more practical, they don't care much about what others think about them, they don't ask about others' age, earnings, marriage which they think is invading others' privacy when they are associating with others. Americans like to express their idea directly while Chinese people choose a more tactful way and so on.

Cultural Differences Between East and West in the Cross-Cultural Business Negotiations

The third difference is in the way of thinking. The difference was embodied in the opposite of the overall thinking and individual thinking. Chinese culture lays particular emphasis on overall thinking which is to observe and think about things on the earth in an overall view, to analyze problems from the whole part, to attach importance on the overall function, complicated relationship and operating process of things, not the internal structure of things. Americans lay particular emphasis on individual thinking which split a complex thing into simple essential factors, then study one by one.

Forth, they work differently in values. The differences in values between east and west lie in the opposite of collectivism and individualism. The core of Chinese people' value is collectivism which thinks that harmonious relationship between people is the foundation of the society. So, Chinese people constantly hold the view of peacefulness is prized and pay special attention to some specially designated group's interests or value. The core of western culture values is individualism, which is the philosophy of individual is most important. The main content of individualism is to believe in the value of individuals, pay much importance to self-freedom and emphasize individual self-control and self-development.

Cultural Differences Between East and West in the Cross-Cultural Business Negotiations
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Just Because A Man-Woman Says They Need Space Doesn't Always Mean The Relationship Is Over

One day you meet this really fantastic person. There is strong chemistry there and so you think this is it. You immediately put yourself out there and instantly go "overboard" doing too many things to show the object of your interest and attention that you are very much in love. And when you thought it couldn't get any better, he/she says those dreaded words, "I need some space." You lose control of your thoughts and emotionally collapse and lash out. This eventually leads to an ending that is deeply disappointing.

Many men and women miss out on relationships with great potential simply because they assume "I need some space" always means the relationship is over.

"I need some space" is especially very confusing for men and women who grew up in an environment which was unstable. They easily get bothered by sudden changes and the "not knowing" what's going to happen next overwhelms, frustrates and depresses them.

Just Because A Man-Woman Says They Need Space Doesn't Always Mean The Relationship Is Over

The real tragedy here is that when you overwhelm a man or woman with your desperation, neediness and anger, you force him/her to actually think about ending the relationship. Your strong drive and determination to get attention and love is likely to get you into difficult situations because you want things going faster -- your pace, your call. What you get is men and women literally running for their lives, "It's best if we had no contact", or "Just leave me alone," or "You are too much for me".

This is why it's crucial that you understand that "I need some space" doesn't always mean I am no longer attracted to you or the relationship is over. Sometimes when a person says "I need some space" all they are saying to you is that, at this time, the value of what you are offering does not justify me taking a risk or investing more than I already have. Many men and women hesitate because they fear that they might be making the wrong decision and will regret it later.

If he/she asks for his/her "own space" don't automatically assume this is a pre-breakup situation.

1. Give him/her the "space" he he/she needs. This is his/her opportunity to come face to face with his/her feelings for you, don't get in his/her way. This may even be a chance for both of you to reassess what you have and work on what you might have in the future.

2. Ask him/her what possible compromises he/she is willing to make (may be meet once a week, weekends only, every other week? etc.) then give him/her the space he/she needs. If he/she refuses to compromise, then you know for certain that they're looking for ways to end the relationship. A person's body language will tell you more about their particular state of mind.

3. If he/she is willing to make some compromises don't force him or her to pay more attention to you than he/she is willing to. Repeated attempts to get back a man or woman who is "scared" for his/her life is completely useless. Only a significant space of time and a new type of approach will have any effect on someone whose guard is already up and whose sensitivity is razor-sharp.

4. It is important that you understand that giving him/her space does not mean you don't have anything to do with him/her. On the contrary, maintain your contact with him/her, but make the "contact moments" work to your advantage.

The most effective way to do this is employ a little playful resistance or what we commonly know as playing hard-to-get. Keep in mind that not all playing hard-to-get rules and actions are designed to make someone fall in love with you. Many of the popularly promoted playing hard-to-get "techniques" out there actually drive someone away instead of make them want you more.

The best kind of playing hard-to-get is one that creates more love than resistance. Using a little bit of playful resistance, you can create a "FRIENDLY SPACE" for fair negotiation, easily eliminate a man or woman's reservations about the relationship and concerns about making a long-term commitment and motivate him/her to take the action of risk and to want to invest more in you and the relationship.

When you understand this very engaging and bonding game, you can turn the "I need some space" into a "Let's try it again" or even "This is what I want!" Simply saying it to them is not enough, they need to SEE by your actions that you really understand what they want in a relationship.

Just Because A Man-Woman Says They Need Space Doesn't Always Mean The Relationship Is Over
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Christine Akiteng is an internationally renowned Sexual Confidence/Dating Coach and author of e-Books: The Art Of Seducing Out Of Fullness, Breaking A Bad Relationships Pattern, and Playing Hard-To-Get The Love Way.

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Salary Negotiation Tips to Bargain For Salary Increase

Do you have the feeling that your employer is continually taking advantage of you? It maybe the right time to plan for a salary negotiation if you feel that you're constantly contributing good value to your company and not getting the pay that you deserve. Effective negotiation helps to resolve situation like this and find solutions that are acceptable to both parties.

Most people are very uncomfortable discussing on the topic of salary increase. This kind of feeling is very common as we are all having fear of being rejected or worry to upset someone during the negotiation. To demand for the right salary that you deserve, you'll need to learn some negotiation fundamentals.

Asking for a salary increase has to begin with a strategic plan, and preparation is the key to be successful in any form of negotiation. You can get a pay increase even if your company is under salary freeze. Here are some effective salary negotiation tips and tactics you can use to fight your case without fear.

Salary Negotiation Tips to Bargain For Salary Increase

1) Assess the situation and know what to target for Before asking for a salary increase, you need to explore your company's policy on salary. Check out if there is any established range for your position. Find out if there are other people in your organization doing similar work, and how much they are being paid. If there is no constraint from the pay policy and you're indispensable, you should feel optimistic and confident with the salary negotiation.

You can bench mark "job search" web sites on the internet to determine how much other companies in the same industry are willing to pay for a comparable position. Different organization may use different job title for the same work. Therefore making comparison of the job scope maybe needed. Understanding the current market value for your position will determine how much you're worth. This allows you to set a figure in mind to shoot for during the salary negotiation session.

2) Be confident with the negotiation If you are a key person in your organization making good contribution, you are armed with bullets, and you can ask for more during the negotiation. Don't worry of losing the job. At the end of the negotiation session, you'll either get a salary increase or you'll figure out you're not in the right organization that can meet your salary expectation. You may want to start to explore other job opportunities.

3) What else besides monetary rewards you should negotiate The remuneration package needs to be evaluated as an overall deal. Don't leave out rewards such as share options, leave passage, pension plans, bonuses, subsidies, etc. The negotiation can be for a raise of any of these rewards. Other non monetary rewards you can demand are the medical coverage, insurance coverage, annual leave, flexible working hours and company car.

4) Draft a letter to request for a meeting on salary increase Never discuss you salary matter with the boss in an ad hoc manner such as after a meeting. If you want to get good result, write a formal letter to your boss by declaring your purpose and arrange suitable time for a discussion. If you're having difficulties to get started, you can seek professional help or refer to the proven pay raise letter examples for ideas on the appropriate format and contents.

5) Prepare a package to sell your contribution You need to package and sell your special skills, accomplishments and contributions for your job objectives, and not to forget to emphasize your special achievements.

6) Build good credibility and demonstrate your value The discussion will be very much smoother if you have built good credibility with the company. Holding the meeting at the right time, for example after delivering some good value to the company, will lower the resistance in getting approval for a salary increase. Attend the meeting with confidence and discuss the case as professional as possible. Personal needs such as "I require more money because of my eldest kid is going to college next year" should not be used as a reason to support the pay raise.

7) Ask smart questions and let the employer do the talking Ask intelligent open-ended questions and lure the employer to do the talking. Be a good listener and let the employer bring about giving you what you want. The employer always thinks that their decision is the best, and they strongly believe in it. Don't challenge their viewpoint, but make them convince your worth and get them to approve your raise.

8) Start negotiation by setting an aggressive goal One of the tactics often use in salary negotiation is to "demand for higher and compromise for lesser." Get the employer to make the first offer to you before you tell them your target. They may offer more than what you expect by surprise. If you've done your homework well on the pay range, you can set your target slightly higher then the upper range. Explain and justify why you're an outstanding employee.

9) Be prepared to move on for a better job If you can demonstrate to the employer that you are prepared to walk away should the negotiation fails, you have created tremendous power and pressure to make the employer compromises. Never show the employer that you are desperate for the job.

Conclusion The objective of a salary negotiation is to find solutions that are win-win for both parties. To ensure the negotiation is successful, you need to prepare all necessary information, learn negotiation tactics for effective bargaining and set up a face-to-face session to discuss the case professional. If you can show the employer that you are willing to move away, you will have more leverage on your bargaining. If you're not easily replaceable in your organization, you should feel confident with the negotiation. If you wish to learn more on salary negotiation tips and tactics, visit our website for more info on all aspects of career resources.

Salary Negotiation Tips to Bargain For Salary Increase
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